Whether by design or more often by chance, this time of year frequently brings big changes in my life. They’ve either been changes that I’ve imposed on myself or have been imposed on me and have brought both challenges and opportunities. During these holidays, that represent renewal, repentance and change, the changes I’ve been thinking about most have been the ones I impose upon myself.
I’d like to tell you that I confront change head-on, but the truth is that my first reaction to impending change is usually… paralysis. However, in retrospect, I believe that this paralysis is a rather helpful mechanism that allows me to reflect rather than to simply react. It is this process of reflection that I want to talk about.
I often find that major life changes (whether personal or professional) force me to consider what values are truly important to me and how to better incorporate those values into my life. I wonder what the implications of this change are relative to the way in which I believe I need to lead my life. I would like to be able to effect change through the incorporation of my fundamental values. These are values that I hope will allow me to lead both an honest and a fulfilling life.
These values are shaped by the Jewish values that I’ve grown up with. Not ritualistic Judaism as much as a Jewish viewpoint and ethical system. One of the profound ways in which Judaism differs from many other religions is that its precepts are grounded in the here and now, through a fulfilling and moral life that has a positive and meaningful impact on family and community. Personal change has an impact on, and evolves from both within and without. Our actions and beliefs have an impact on the community and the community enables us to effect change internally and externally. There is a fundamental interdependence inherent in the ability to conduct a meaningful life. We have a unique life view I believe, that emphasizes the understanding and experience of community and our role in it.
Conversely, I believe that in order to make a difference; in order for me to change, grow and have a meaningful impact on my family and community, the change has to come from within. While community offers a point of reference as well as support, the willingness and strength to change can only develop organically. Recall the story of Job. Remember that when he was looking for inner strength his friends could only offer suggestions that were not meaningful for him. Then he looked to God, but found silence, until Job himself could analyze his situation to arrive at an authentic and personal understanding of how he should live and what he should strive for.
To alter the status quo requires deliberation and struggle. It’s much easier to keep doing what you’re doing. But the process of change, like the process of repentance that these high holy days represent, requires one to understand what is unsatisfactory now, what would be better and why that change would be an improvement. The goals I seek would, hopefully, enable me to live a life that is fulfilling and enriching to me and to my community. This is the motivation that drives the desire to change. It is the recognition that we have the responsibility to choose change. Family and community can assist this effort and one hopes that they will benefit as well. For it is our personal and individual responsibility to participate in society and to determine for ourselves how we can work toward our highest aspirations.
I would like to close with the story of a pious man whose home was threatened by a flood. As the waters rose a rowboat came by and the occupants offered to row him to safety. But he refused their help, citing his faith in God and belief that this would keep him and his home safe. Soon he had to climb onto his roof to escape the flooding. A helicopter appeared and again he was offered help and again he refused, once more expressing his faith in God. The waters rose further and the man drowned.
Once in heaven he queried God as to why, despite his unyielding faith, God had not helped him. God answered:
“But I did help you! Twice!!”
L’SHANA TOVA
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